A real life cheat code

At my kids’ old school, there was this other dad…

I remember meeting him at “back to school night” for the first time.

Nice guy, kinda quiet. Good beard.

A regular looking guy.

But everyone seemed to know him.

I noticed other parents going out of their way to say hi.

Huh, I thought.

Later that fall, the school hosted a barbecue.

A luau, in fact.

A whole roasted pig, lots of pineapple, rice, traditional Hawaiian musicians and dancers…

As far as school-run barbecues go, this one was top notch.

Near the end of the evening, the MC invited 4 dads to come up for a Hula dance off.

My kids all turned back to look at me.

“Go, dad!” my daughter laughed.

My wife smiled at me and nodded her head.

Sure, what the heck. Why not?

But you have to understand something.

Dancing is one of the glaring gaps on my resume of life skills.

I’m not good.

I glanced at the other 3 dads making their way up to the stage.

“I think can out-cool these guys,” I thought to myself.

The nice guy with the good beard was one of them.

I ended up standing next to him on stage.

One of the Hula dancers began giving us instructions for specific moves.

Each dad tried to follow along.

I was keeping up, but looking (and feeling) awkward and clunky.

I was suddenly hyper-aware of the eyes of the other parents and their kids on the 4 of us on stage.

Finally, each dad was supposed to solo Hula, followed by a little freestyle.

The first dad went, awkwardly gyrating his hips.

Yikes. I hope I didn’t look like that.

People laughed and cheered.

The nice beard guy went second…

Now pay attention.

What happened next is impossible to describe with words. But I’ll try.

The beat dropped.

And this man raised the roof.

He suddenly became an extension of the music.

hands Up Up

extended in rhythm

Down Down

crouch and twist

Left Right Left Right

shake it shake it

the crowd had erupted

without irony

simply pure wonder and joy

he could

Be…

A…

Star

Dude was punching the real life Konami Code.

Ego Invincibility + Infinite Lives

The music stopped.

A standing ovation.

He bowed.

And then turned to look at me.

I was next.

Unfortunately, I ended up looking more like Dad 1 than EliteDad002.

I was completely self-absorbed and self-conscious.

My face burned.

Embarrassed that I could not touch the skills just witnessed.

Knowing that any cheers I received were from politeness and pity.

But my view of the rival dad instantly changed.

I understood that he was utterly confident in who he was.

His ego did not require protection.

I’d also realized that the most awkward looking dads on the dance floor were the ones trying not to look awkward.

Trying not to stand out made us stand out more.

We were thinking about what others would think.

Which ended up causing the action and the outcome we feared most.

The same thing happens with writing and other content.

Hiding behind impersonal language (I hope this email finds you well) or generic AI generated gunk to avoid offense makes it even more offensive.

You think that impersonal, “professional” language keeps you safe…

But in truth, you’re hiding.

Hiding behind a wall of meaningless words.

Because when it’s personal, it’s attached to your person.

An extension of your ego.

So if no one watches, likes, comments or shares…

You are protected.

Your ego is intact.

But here’s the problem.

Just like my awkward, self-conscious attempt at Hula, your impulse to protect your ego will guarantee your eventual humiliation and failure.

Because unless your creations ARE attached to your person, no one will care.

The solution is to tell your ego to sit tight and shut the hell up.

Then, learn the basics of movement (writing) (video).

Practice daily.

Screw what anyone else thinks. You are doing this for YOU.

Eventually, your mastery will be automatic. Undeniable.

Why would you want to hide it?

Especially when you realize your moves bring other people joy.

Now, you can do it for THEM.

Your confidence and competence gives hope.

Hope that maybe they could be that good at something, too.

If you need it, this is your face slap.

I am grabbing you by the shoulders and pulling you off the couch.

Stop reading this and get working.

Now.

The first move towards Ego Invincibility is “Up Up.”

Greg

P.S. No “call to action” today. Unless you feel like hitting reply and chatting.

If your ego says no, you should probably do it anyways.