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Yesterday I found this cold pitch email in my junk folder:

I usually delete these without a glance, but something caught my eye:

“I wish this email unearths you well.”

Huh?

As I continued reading (the email was 5 paragraphs), the telltale scent of poorly translated, AI generated nonsense churned out by an unskilled writer wafted towards me:

“We'll begin with a detailed dialogue to apprehend your necessities…”

“Upon crowning glory, we're going to provide schooling on a way to control and update the internet site…”

“…We look forward to running with you!”

Now I don’t know if they had their ChatGPT Vocabulary Selector cranked to level Rain Man, or if they were using the worst English translation software imaginable, but I could not take my eyes off of this word-upon-word train wreck.

For those of you waving your hands at me shouting “but it worked! They kept your attention!”- No it didn’t.

I’m not asking “George Reece” to redesign my website any time soon.

However, I did reply to the email:

Dear George Reece,

I fantasize this email reveals you a shaft sunk into the ground to obtain water, oil, or gas.

I recommend you immediately sign up for Anyword, to avoid sending even one more email like the one I just received.

I say this unironically, but Anyword understands your brand, your audience, and what resonates better than you do.

You can learn more by reading their sponsored ad placement below:

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I then wished George well, as in a shaft sunk into the ground to obtain water, oil, or gas.

Stay safe out there,

Greg